Imagine P.O.S, Sims, Mike Mictlan, and Cecil Otter all riding a stretch tandem bicycle. Can you see it? Cecil’s in back, feet kicked up on Mike’s shoulder, hands laced behind his head. Okay good. Now imagine them planting four kickstands on the cement outside of your favorite club. Congratulations. You have seen into the future. You are a miracle baby.

Indeed, P.O.S, Sims, Mike Mictlan, and Cecil Otter are doing some shows. The business begins this very Thursday the third in Mankato, MN at the What’s Up Lounge. What’s up? Doomtree, motherfucker. Doomtree. On the fourth, P.O.S goes solo in Des Moines while the fellas embark on a breath-taking intellectual journey into the area’s rich cultural histories. On the fifth, after some much-needed rest, the dudes reunite onstage at the Abbey Pub in Chicago. Then Mike, Sims, and Cecil catch a plane to New York to film three RightGuardXtreme™ commercials while P.O.S opens for Joan Jett on the Warp’d Tour. Finally, our heroes convene in Bloomington, Indiana on August twelf, where they will spend the whole night calling each other “Hoosier.” Then it’s back to the Minneapple to feed the children.

So, friends, be on the lookout for that beautiful bicycle rolling into your town real soon. And have water on hand, because after about a hundred miles bike rides stop being fun, and start being really real.

Note: For the sake of entertainment, some liberties have been taken in the authoring of this internet news update. It should be made clear that the oft-mentioned “stretch tandem bicycle” is actually a van painted to look like a fish.