Alright. I’ve decided to start a new internet posting or “blog” if you will.  The purpose of this blog will be to cue you in to some secrets and hopefully allow you to step your food game up. This will be a comprehensive guide on how to cook it up and eat like a trill bawse. I will include some of my secret recipes, favorite restaurants (where to go, what to get and why) as well as general life tips bout how to eat like a champ.

The first recipe imma bestow upon you is called “death by animal trifecta plus one more”.  This is  just one of my many Trill Burger™ recipes. This recipe feeds 6 regulas or 3 mammoth appetites. If you get offended by any of the foods in this recipe you can substitute but know that that ain’t no Trill Burger™. Trust me.

Alright babies:

Step 1:

Grab some ground sirloin, 2 lbs should do it (we don’t play that regular ground beef shit round here)

Grab 1 lb of the finest bacon you can find. I suggest going to the farmers market and get that real.

Find some good cheeses you will need 1 pack goat cheese, 1 cube cheddar (gruyere would be best)

2 Eggs, cage free (or totally caged if you’re an asshole)

Steal some spices: A little Worcestershire sawse, Salt, Pepper, Cayenne , BBQ sauce, the best hot sauce you got (Louisiana style is best for this.)

Watermelon

Pickles and Onions optional but good.

Step 2:

Set that ground meat on the counter and let it get to room temp

Start that bacon up on the stove, cook it up, cut it up into bite sized pieces. *keep that bacon fat hot and throw your onions in that if you really want to ge down.

Go fire up that grill of your. You can pan fry em too.

Find a mixing bowl (if you don’t have one use a shoebox)

Combine ground meat, salt, nuff pepper, a sprinkle of cayenne pepper, 7 big splashes hot sauce, 3 count that Worcestershire upside down and both eggs (trust me homies). Get your hands in there and mix it up good.

Wad up a little bit of that meat, patty that.

Add bacon and goat cheese to patties. We’re going for a centering of that.

Add patty on top, close the cypher. Make sure to get those edges nice a tight, going for no splitting, no leaks here.

Coat the outside in BBQ sauce.

Should look like this:

Step 3:

Roll something, Light something (optional)

Mentally prepare yourself, praise the gods and the whole earfs.

Step 4:

Throw em on the grill, medium-hot

Flip no more than twice per side. Add new coat of BBQ sauce each time to form nice exterior glaze.

Cook time depends on size, mostly thickness. These are big dogs, needed about 12 minutes total.

Cut up some watermelon.

Get some iced tea. Brewing your own is best but if you don’t get down like that anything but Arizona will do.

Toss some cheese on top of the burgers for the last couple minutes they cook, close the lid on grill

Throw a little butter on some buns and put those on the grill for 2 minutes or so, toast them up.

Take everything off the grill before you overcook it, man.

Step 5:

Get down on that.

****Extra Trill Tip:

How to handle the ITIS: Don’t be mad at yourself, accept that you have the ITIS and be cool with that. Enjoy any or all of the following: Cigarette, Madden, Beer, Beats, Shower, Couch, Floor.

Alright. Installment 1 done.